January 2010
fmylife:
Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say “mine will be easy” and it came out as “I’m easy.” FML
fmylife:
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said “Dude, I think she knows I’m going to break up with her.” FML
fmylife:
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML
“
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets...”
– Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy) (via kari-shma) (via quote-book) (via hannahbiteshard)
“It ain’t my first time but babygirl we can pretend.”
– Chris brown
“I ain’t saying we tryna be grown, I’m just saying we’re old enough to know, we...”
– chris brown
“Girl let me get that number, you’re like the jackpot. I hit the lottery.”
– Chris brown.
fmylife:
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
“Boys always like staring at the butts of girls. So girls, you have to make your...”
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love...”
– Bob Marley
“That’s right. My name is Weezy Baby, please say the baby. If not, please don’t...”
– Lil Wayne.
“I can say it don’t rhyme, and it still goin’ rhyme”
– weezy f
“I can say it don’t rhyme, and it still goin’ rhyme”
– weezy f (via fuckyeahweezy)
“I don`t mind making sissy rock. I`ll rock your ass sensitive-style.”
– John Mayer (via anditslove)
fmylife:
Today I got fired from my job. The reason? My boss didnt’t feel comfortable paying his son’s girlfriend. FML
US GIRLS WE ARE SO MAGICAL. SOFT SKIN, RED LIPS,...
(via iheartkatyperry)
fmylife:
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
fmylife:
Today, my mom figured out how to use the poke application on Facebook. If I don’t poke back, she calls to see why I haven’t. I just recieved my 6th poke today. FML
“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each...”
– Betsey Johnson
fmylife:
Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she’s quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, “So… You’re dating a Jonas brother?” FML
fmylife:
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my “boobies.” I said no, that wouldn’t be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, “Look, my penis is on again!” It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
